About

I’m Lola Phoenix and I run this column/podcast.

After writing a few successful articles about non-monogamy and receiving some private messages in other forums asking for advice, I decided to try and start a non-monogamy advice column in January 2017. I produced fortnightly columns for two years as letters came in.

And in January 2019, I decided to launch a podcast version of the column, given I had got so many letters. Monthly, thus far we have around 2k listeners. The podcast is available on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, PodKnife and via RSS feed. I got to chat in June 2019 with the Multiamory Podcast, and Zing for VICE’s podcast My First Time about my first time trying polyamory, and with Gem Kennedy in 2020 on the Queers and Co Podcast about a variety of topics.

In December 2020, we moved away from Medium (because of the paywall and difficulties it brought people to read every week), to our own website at nonmonogamyhelp.com.

You can find all of the podcasts and columns sorted by subject matter here.

Though I use “we”, I do most of the work and it’s supported by generous Patrons who decide to pledge even just $1 to support the podcast and column. Patrons get the podcasts and columns 4 days before everyone else and a few other bonuses. Patrons who give $5 or more a month have their names read at the end of the podcast, if they wish. Please consider becoming a patron!

The new website now includes transcriptions with each podcast post, so no need to go to Patreon for that.

I work with a queer, bisexual, polyam, and kinky therapist who specialises in PTSD, sexuality and relationships. I email my responses to them for each question and they provide additional feedback where needed.

If you’d like to ask for some advice, email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com. All names are anonymised. You can specify if you’d like if you’d like your question to be answered on the podcast or the column. There are different questions on the column than the podcast and I aim to respond to all emails in 7 business days at least, which has slowed down due to COVID as it’s now far more difficult to record.

You can get the columns and podcasts regularly by signing up to our email newsletter or following @NonMonogamyHelp on Twitter or on Instagram.

And last but not least, if you can’t become a Patron and want to show some support, please feel free to make a PayPal donation.

Thanks for reading. ❤